While to many North Americans, Saint Lawrence is possibly best known as the namesake for the river that flows through New York, Ontario, and Quebec, to those who know the lives of saints, Saint Lawrence is renowned for having possibly the funniest last words in the world of martyrs. As Catholic Culture explains, Lawrence was a young deacon and disciple of Pope Sixtus II, who lived in the middle of the 3rd century. During the persecution of Christians by Emperor Valerian, the pope and his followers were arrested and beheaded. After the death of the pope, the Roman prefects demanded that Lawrence hand over the treasures of the church to them. Instead, Lawrence gave away all the riches he could gather to the poor and sick. When the Romans demanded he hand over the church's assets, Lawrence presented them with the sick and needy, saying, "Here are the treasures of the church."
Perhaps needless to say, he was arrested and tortured. After being whipped and burned with scalding plates, Lawrence was most famously sentenced to be roasted alive on a giant gridiron. Rather than succumb to the torments, Lawrence iconically quipped to his torturers, "Turn me over, I'm done on this side." Just before his death, he turned to his captors and said, "I'm finished now, you can eat me." For his death, Lawrence is venerated as the patron of chefs, firefighters, and tanners, and, thanks to his one-liners, comedians.
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